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An Earthgirl's Guide to Self-Hatred Prevention
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Our minds create our reality.
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By teaching kids to realize the power of their own minds and to shape their reality with the decisions they make, we can, as a community, help build a network of kindness, tolerance, respect and sanity.



These wise words about ways to prevent self-hatred come from Earthgirls of all ages!

- Seeing through the lies created by society and culture that tell me there is something wrong with me
- Reading my horoscope
- Cooking and eating: feeling like I decide what goes in my body
- Going for a run
- Giving and receiving affection
- Doing anything creative: art, music, gardening, making jewelry
- Therapy
- Self-forgiveness
- Good films/music/books
- Making myself laugh
- Music
- Time with animals
- Laughter
- Sensual pleasures
- Talking through problems with close friends
- Working with a terrific therapist to untangle vestiges of self-hate
- Good friends
- Self-care: working out, eating well, loving the body equals self-love
​- Giving myself treats to look forward to in life, making it easier to work hard
- Meaningful activities such as listening to or making music
- Reading books about sharks. They are strong and interesting and remind me that I have that in me too
- Being outside: gardening, walking in the woods or near the ocean
- Helping others; always being kind to others as my underlying motivation gives me integrity and peace
- Being embodied, including pleasures like enjoying food and holding hands
- Connecting with people
- Journaling
- Working hard and feeling accomplished in some aspect of life
- Choosing the right partner
- Team sports: they develop physical and mental power. Depending on a team and working towards a common goal help with self-esteem
- Being in environments where my intellect matters more than my appearance
- Realize I am not seeing things clearly, as they really are
- I give others compassion, forgiveness and the benefit of the doubt all the time, so I remember I can do that for myself too
- Time in nature (surf, surf, surf)
- Making a ritual of out showering or body oiling. I use that time to say kind things to my body
- If I fixate on external things like looks, remembering that things are impermanent
- Art
- Laughing with friends
- Maintaining connection with those I love, especially girlfriends
- Giving myself the benefit of the doubt when the inner critic is strong
- Cooking
- Intellectual stimulation
- Being loved by children and teenagers
- Being aware of my emotions
- Interdependent relationship
- Acceptance: yes, that’s what I did. So what? Moving on with full potential for doing things differently
- Having a spiritual perspective on life
- Work hard, play hard: a playful perspective towards life
- Laughter & Humor
- Reading books, not social media sites
- Less negative mass media such as mainstream news
- Listening to my heart
- Time in nature
- All kinds of self-care
- Dancing
- Being generous with others
- Enough sleep
- Being afraid. Nothing helps me feel more proud of myself than challenges and pushing myself to do something I am afraid to do. It doesn’t have to be big


- Not listening to critics who are negative
- Self-compassion
- When I’m in the thick of self-hatred, I think of what I would say if I was my own friend, and know how much love, compassion, forgiveness, acceptance I would have
- Yoga
- Almost completely unconditional support from family and friends
- Cleaning
- Involvement in the arts; something that encourages self-expression
- Engaging my imagination
- Doing something kind for someone else
- Friends
​- Animals
- Presence: being present with this day, this moment. Feeling my emotions and body
- Being of service to others; volunteering
- Exercise
- Having at least one parent who supports every idea I have
- Surrounding myself with positive people
- Remembering impermanence
- Remembering my good qualities
- Expressing love to those I care about
- Singing
- Talking with good friends
- Seeing my child’s smile
- Giving myself a break because no one is perfect. What is perfect anyways?
- Meditation and prayer
- Looking at pictures of someone like the Dalai Lama
- Being outside
- Positive reinforcement from others
- Laughing
- Alone time
- Nourishing body practices like dance and yoga
- Connecting with the Earth
- Crafting, doing something with my hands
- Meditation
- Making someone laugh
- Crying when I need to
- Appreciating the beauty of other women
- Being vulnerable with people who I know will accept me
- Baths
- Not dwelling or wallowing in the past, trying to be in the moment
- Reading
- Remembering I am an individual and actively not comparing myself to others
- Honesty and talking about things
- When I feel down on myself, or look in the mirror and don’t feel happy, I immediately say 5-10 nice things about myself right away
- Receiving bodywork and healing sessions
- Crying and surrendering always help me feel more compassion for myself
- Meaningful human connection
- Reading, which helps me experience the world outside my own perspective
- Saying no when I need to, rather than people pleasing
- Humor
- Being around animals and plants. They don’t seem to suffer from self-hatred
- Making my personal space beautiful and nourishing
- Reminding myself this too shall pass
- Writing and reading poetry
- Strong and secure relationships
- Relaxing in a way that I feel good about myself the next day
- Maintaining awesome female friends
- Working hard at something until I get proficient at it
- Surrounding myself with good people who lift me up
- Feeling that I’m doing something good & something right
- Spiritual talks, Dharma talks
- Talking as kindly to myself with my internal self-talk as I would talk to a dear friend

- Thinking of others who have it worse than I do

©2018 Julia Hengst
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  • Home
  • The Story
    • Venus Underwater
    • Venus Made-of-Light
    • Venus and the In-Betweens
    • Teen Series Sneak Peek
  • The Art
  • Why It Matters
  • Who is Venus?
  • Mermaid Brigade
  • Video
  • Endorsements
  • Contact